When depression and anxiety grab you, they lock joy away in a dark closet. What keys can unlock the door? In addition, what can return your ability to smile and enjoy life again?
In the big picture, working toward wellness is your most powerful weapon against what I call “joy robbers.” There are simple ways to find wellness when depression and anxiety resurface.
As we know, long-term recovery relies on the 3 C’s:
- Confidence that recovery is possible.
- Compliance with medication and therapy.
- Commitment to lifestyle changes.
Here are some other keys to add to your ring.
Rid Yourself of Shame
Even in recovery, the acid of self-stigma can corrode your ability to take pleasure in what’s around you. Acknowledge that you did not make a personal choice to feel joyless. You did not cause your illness. And you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.
Consider joining a support group where people disclose their struggles with a mood disorder. These are people who won’t judge you, who can understand and relate to your experiences.
I first discovered “peer power” when I joined other consumers in a certification process to become presenters for an outreach and education program. As we all shared our mental health journeys, opening up about my darkest moments allowed shame to evaporate.
Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude
Make a conscious decision to pay attention to the positive experiences, people, and things that come your way. Focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t have. Then you begin to build a foundation of well being and contentment that will allow joy to return.
Take time to acknowledge and appreciate the endless small miracles that happen every day. For example, the parking space that opens up close to the entrance of a store, the stranger who smiles at you, the glow of sunset through your window.
Before you even get up, say a silent “thank you” for your night’s rest, the bedding that kept you warm, the house that shelters you. Make an effort to recognize even the smallest blessings like a friend’s email or a task you were able to complete.
When you find yourself dwelling on what saddens or irritates you, stop for a moment to acknowledge the feelings. Then, think about a less negative way to respond to the situation.
Hang on to Hope
Of course, it’s easier to feel grateful when you are well. When you are engulfed by depression and anxiety, remind yourself that your current inability to feel pleasure and appreciation is a passing symptom. It’s like fever with the flu.
Think about the “joy providers” in your life prior to this depressive episode or bout of anxiety. Maybe it was a hobby you were able to lose yourself in, a place you liked to visit, a TV show that made you laugh. Embrace the truth that you are able to feel enjoyment, even if you don’t right this moment.
Initiate Random Acts of Generosity
When giving your time and energy, experience what you have to offer others. As a matter of fact, this is an excellent antidote to the joy-killing feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.
There are countless ways to be generous such as leaving a tip for someone who didn’t expect it. Also, holding the door open for the person behind you, or giving someone your undivided attention. Depression and anxiety can be all-consuming. Taking attention away from ourselves to focus on others provides a much-needed mental break.
Remind Yourself That it is What it is
You cannot wipe away the past. You can laugh or cry, but eventually, you have to return to the present if you want to experience joy again.
It is so easy to be caught up in the question, “Why me?” Yet if you look around, you will notice that just about everyone has something to cope with in life. The symptoms you experience are your “something.”
Acceptance moves you forward. Decide to take your “new normal” as a starting point. Your mental health diagnosis only defines you if you let it.
Reflection Questions
What skills and strengths do you possess? Where do you want to go from where you are now?
About the Author
Carol A. Kivler is a nationally recognized mental health speaker, international executive coach/trainer, and author. Most importantly, she is a passionate consumer advocate for mental health. Carol is available for speaking engagements in the U.S and internationally. Email or call Carol at (609) 882-8988.
