This week as I was coaching a number of executives, I was reminded of a simple yet essential communication strategy. Ask for what you need. Then why is it so hard to ask?
Comfort in asking questions comes with maturity of thought. We are born totally dependent on others to help to fulfill our needs. Then we find ourselves becoming independent. We believe we can survive on our own without the help of others.
However, as we mature, we recognize the state of interdependence. It is in the state of interdependence that we recognize the power of help from others. This is where asking for what we need and want comes into play.
When challenged with any health issue, it is essential that you become comfortable with the communication strategy of asking. Ask for what you need!
There are times when you ask where you might not get a “yes.” Further, there are times when you may not have asked the right person, who could provide the “yes.” But you must learn to ask to get a “yes.”
Learn to find ways to speak to others. Speaking to others about our own experiences can ease the burden for others with similar problems. Not only that, you may get the yes you need to help solve your own problem.
For example, one executive spoke about wanting an international assignment with the company he has worked for 11 years. He had acquired a wealth of experience and various promotions throughout his employment. I asked him if he had ever shared this desire with his manager. His answer was “no.” I then inquired what was keeping him from sharing this goal with his boss. His reply was he was afraid of his boss’s response. My job was to prompt him to ask the question. And you already know the answer— “Yes! I think this would be a great next step in your career.” As a matter of fact, his “yes” came from asking.
Reflection Question
What question do you need to ask?
About the Author
Carol A. Kivler is a nationally recognized mental health speaker, international executive coach/trainer, and author. Most importantly, she is a passionate consumer advocate for mental health. Carol is available for speaking engagements in the U.S and internationally. Email or call Carol at (609) 882-8988.
